Caught Husband Cheating Using Skype

 
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chelsea



Joined: 19 Jun 2008
Posts: 21

PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 11:44 pm    Post subject: Caught Husband Cheating Using Skype Reply with quote

Hello there to all on the board. I will try to keep this as short as possible and to the points.

My name is Chelsea and I have been married for 6 years but together for 11. We have a beautiful new baby girl who is only 9 months old.

I recently found Skype uploaded on our home PC and did not know what it was. I learnt that is was a free PC to PC calling program Sad

I ran a search for my husband's full name plus his scrennames that I know he uses. I found him Sad I also found him on Myspace by using Skype. Apparently Skype can trace these things. I did not know he had myspace either. He is smart and has it set to private, so I can't see in.

I made a fake account on Skype and posed as a girl and he took bait.
He still does not know it is me and I have been keeping my cools and wits about me. He has told me as a woman he doesnt know that he is unhappy in his marriage and wants to find people to sleep with. I don't have any evidences yet that he has actually met any womens but I know he has gone beyond the threshold of our vows. He only talks to my skype personality while at work, so I don't know if he uses it at home while I sleep with other womens.

What do I do? How do I handle this with composure? I feel like slapping him each and everyday he walks through the front door. He takes my daughter up and kisses her and says daddy loves you, then he hugs me and says I love yous. How can a person say they love a person and be doing this?
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chelsea



Joined: 19 Jun 2008
Posts: 21

PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 4:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oops. I forgot to put the link to Skype. If anyone is interested here it is

http://www.skype.com/getconnected/

I opted to contact my husband using skype, but only chatted with him. I never did use the voice option. Still he is playing this with me and I don't know what to do now.
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flamerose



Joined: 23 Jun 2008
Posts: 125

PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 11:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chelsea

Composure..hmm... well, as much as it hurts you can remain calm as you confront him but install a keylogger before you do. So that you can keep a watch on him until you feel comfortable knowing he isn't doing this anymore..

http://www.spector.com/
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chelsea



Joined: 19 Jun 2008
Posts: 21

PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 12:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am already being treated for postpartum depression since our daughter was born. It has helped for the most part, but this skype thing is making me go backwards in recovery Sad I had no idea he was doing these things Sad We just had a baby. How can he be doing this to us? To me? To Kayla?
Keeping composure for me is very hard right now. I am amazed I have not blown yet.
I think I am most scared of the confronting, because I do not know what to expect from him. If he denies things, I do not know how well I can keep the calm. I am normally calm person by nature, but this is huge. Inside I feel enraged, I don't know if it is the PPD or not. I am scared of how well I can keep calm.
He keeps control of all the money and intercepts the bills. He is always looking online at what I charge on the credit cards. How can I buy a keylogger knowing he will see it on the charge? Thanks for the suggestion, but I don't know if I can pull it off.
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flamerose



Joined: 23 Jun 2008
Posts: 125

PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 9:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, Chelsea

I'm sorry you are having to deal with PPD on top of your husband's irrational behavior. You need to remember that what your husband is doing isn't about you. He is searching for something that he is lacking within himself; for example, if he is unhappy...well, we all know we can only make ourselves happy. Your husband is getting a temporary thrill, if you will, so this temporary thrill makes him happy...but eventually that will wear off. Am I making any sense? He needs to search within himself and find out why he is unhappy... You mentioned about him controlling the money and bills...hmm...well, that is a form of abuse...for your info.
I would seriously think about your life with this man. It's bad enough dealing with infidelity but controlling issues..? You and your child deserve so much better. Think about what kind a role model this man will be.
As for the keylogger, yes, there is a way to purchase without his knowledge. Do you have a paypal account? But this will only work if you have your own personal account because money will be withdrawn from your bank account.
I hope I have helped some. Hang in there.
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chelsea



Joined: 19 Jun 2008
Posts: 21

PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

a temporary thrill? Sad His temporary thrill is going to cost him his family if he does not stop! Why does he need thrills when he has me?
No, I do not have my own bank account, and I do not have paypal Sad He controls everything. I have to turn in all my receipts if I shop for food, gas, anything Sad
Thanks for the support. dealing with this on top of post partum depression is hard.
Does anyone know a free keylogger I can use? I feel scared of even doing that, because he is smart with computers. If he catches me doing that, I don't know what he would do. I already feel jittery with the skype thing.
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flamerose



Joined: 23 Jun 2008
Posts: 125

PostPosted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 2:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Try this one. Really read thru this before you download it. You want to make sure he doesn't get a popup when he is using it...

http://www.rohos.com/kid-logger/#download
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happygirl3



Joined: 08 Jul 2008
Posts: 11
Location: new york

PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 3:01 pm    Post subject: wow...your life sounds like mine, only earlier Reply with quote

I agree, the controlling the money is a form of abuse. One day I looked in the mirror and realized my life, my self esteem, my dreams, were a mess. This January I decided to go back to school, and to start looking forward....taking care of myself. It is amazing how much this improves your self esteem. Depression sometimes comes from feeling like there is no control...and low self esteem. Living with someone, having to hand over your reciepts...that is not good for your self esteem. Pick up a book on abuse...I didnt realize that I was even being abused until I read this...but I was. I realized I didnt want my daughter living like me...so I started sticking up for myself. Im still in my marriage and still afraid...but every day it is easier...my self esteem grows. I am here for you to talk with if you need. I also had depression and post partum after my first ant that is very hard to deal with.

This is so hard for you...I really feel for you....
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flamerose



Joined: 23 Jun 2008
Posts: 125

PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 10:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Happy,

Are you working on your marriage also or are you in it for your daughter?
It's great that you are focusing on yourself to Smile.
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chelsea



Joined: 19 Jun 2008
Posts: 21

PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 11:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am happy for you, happygirl3 that you are going back to school.
Whenever I get over this bump of PPD and this cheating issue, I want to do the same. I would like to be a nurse and become self sufficient. If my husband is doing more than I know, I know I will want to leave eventually.
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